"...because it's scary out there"2007
ACRYLIC ON 16" X 20" X 3/4" GALLERY STRETCHED CANVAS
SOLD
Amouyal collection, New York, NY

My 'Threshold' paintings are a series of darker, moodier works that have helped me whenever childhood monsters surface. Fortunately, as I've gotten older, these paintings have become more rare.

"...because it's scary out there" deals with my agoraphobia, mild now compared to when I was in my 20's, but present enough for me to easily become more of a hermit than i am.

After an amazingly prolonged absence, they have returned... i am once again fighting my childhood's monsters... really? why do they, seemingly out of the blue, suddenly rear their ugly heads?...you'd think after four or five decades, i'd have figured out how to banish them permanently, but apparently not..... usually it only takes me a week or so to drive them back into their cave, but they seem stronger than usual... i sometimes wonder if i should share with my kids the darkness of my childhood, or if i am making the right decision to spare them the details.... they think they know me.... they do not.

I am wearing the face i keep in a jar by the door... i will be glad when i can put that jar away again, with it's lid tightly closed.

click image for a larger view

"Autumn Rooster" 2005
ACRYLIC ON LARGE 18” X 24" X 1.5" GALLERY STRETCHED CANVAS
SOLD
McCourt collection- Tucson, AZ

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"White Gerbera" 2006
ACRYLIC ON LARGE 24” X 30" X 3/4" GALLERY STRETCHED CANVAS
SOLD
Private collection- Miami, FL

"I rarely feel 'over the hill' which is why i'm always caught a little off guard by how, sometimes, just a few words from one of my kids can make me feel 'over the mountain' :o)"~Jenna Millward Corkill©

55

Yesterday i began my 56th year... i still feel 30ish inside but mirrors scattered here and there throughout my world are always surprising me with a reflection that doesn't quite match what i think i should see... who is that stranger in the mirror?

Yep, it's me ...but the weird thing is i'm not really a stranger at all... i know more about myself now, than i ever have, even if sometimes i'm surprised by my own reflection... i feel blessed to have lived long enough to recognize lessons learned along the way, about myself and others... lessons that only reflection, seen from the perspective of different decades, can provide.

I've been amused witnessing cliches come true... yes, we do, in ways, become our parents, but funnier still is watching our kids become us (although i'm sure they would beg to differ..LOL).

I recently ran across a note i saved a long time ago about lessons learned in life (author unknown)... i've borrowed a few thoughts from that note and added a few of my own.... what follows are some of life's lessons i've learned from having the privilege of spending 5.5 decades living on this marvelous/perilous planet!

I've learned~ that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do.

I've learned~that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned~that you should never tell a child their dreams are foolish.

I've learned~that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I've learned~that no matter how hard you will try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt, and you will hurt for them, no matter how old they become.

I've learned~that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I've learned~that i really don't like paperwork, but ignoring it doesn't make it go away. The same applies to laundry.

I've learned~that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others, you must learn to forgive yourself.

I've learned~that you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I've learned~that no matter how badly your heart is broken, the world won't stop for your grief, but your friends will.

I've learned~that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I've learned~that you can't make someone love you... all you can do is be someone who can be loved.

I've learned~heroes are people who do what has to be done, when it needs to be done, regardless of personal consequences.

I've learned~that sometimes i have the right to be angry, but that doesn't ever give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned~that the bounty of planting seeds of kindness throughout your life is priceless.

I've learned~that your life can be changed in a matter of minutes by people who don't even know you.

I've learned~that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.

I've learned~that it's not WHAT you have in you life, but WHO you have in your life that counts.

I've learned~that true friendship continues to grow, no matter what.

I've learned~to trust that my God walks with me and gives me wisdom and strength.

I've learned~that prayer works.

I've learned~that it's taken me a long time to become this person i am today and i'm good with 55.

"Lennon" 2004

ACRYLIC ON LARGE 24” X 24" X 1.5" GALLERY STRETCHED CANVAS

SOLD

Gilden collection, Ann Arbor, MI